There She Goes..
What is a home without children? Quiet. ~Henny Youngman
I just waved goodbye to my only daughter this morning when the school bus picked her up. Now I’m getting a bit emotional. It’s not like this is her first time to go to school, but its the first day that she’ll be in school the whole day.
For the past two years or so, she had been going to school mornings only. And I didn’t suffer any separation anxiety but now just thinking that it’ll be hours before I could see her again just tears me apart.
Would she be okay? Would she get hungry? What if she gets hurt or gets sick? Would she even miss me? Questions like this had been going over and over again in my mind since she left.
I know it’s hard, letting your children be independent and part of me yearns for her to stay dependent on me and safe with me. But I just love her too much too. I don’t want to stop her from exploring, from venturing out of her little world, from growing up.
All I could do is pray. That she’ll be okay. That she learns life’s lessons in not a very harsh way, to have scrapes maybe but never deep wounds. I guess this is one of the hardest part of being a parent, letting go and hoping that they will be okay. I know in time, I’ll be okay, but right now I just want to ask, why why does it feel so lonely?