Am I a Passive Friend?
This is something I had been asking myself for sometime already. It all just started out because one of my college buddies messaged me on Facebook and mentioned that all our other friends feel I have distanced myself from them and I am so passive.
I admit, I have a certain degree of guilt when it comes to keeping up with friends. But I NEVER intentionally distanced myself from them. I would think it was time, circumstances (me living thousands of miles away from them), with emails/facebook our only means to communicate.
I would also admit that I am not the cuddly, overwhelming type of friend. I value my independence a lot and that is not something against them, its just me. There are really days, I don’t like socializing and I feel that we are not teenagers anymore that we need to check on each other every hour. Perhaps I was wrong in thinking this?
While they could endlessly discuss about celebrity gossips, the latest intrigues among our batchmates, I find myself zoning out. I know as we go along we develop different interests and sometimes I find it hard to relate, but I do try.
I’m not justifying myself, I’m just saying how it is with me. I value their friendships a lot and sincerely hope that they be mature enough to realize that we could be friends (and they can count on me when the need is there) even without us blabbing on Facebook 24/7.
I know I am not a passive friend. More like a very independent friend. I have this live and let live attitude. I do care about what happens in their lives, what’s going on with their kids. I simply have priorities too and while it makes me happy to hear from them, just so long as its not on an hourly basis and it doesn’t interfere with what I need to do daily.
Now if I can only get this across them without sounding totally rude and obnoxious..
The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart. ~Elisabeth Foley